he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
