This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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