my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
