So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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