nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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