...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
