so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
