would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
