So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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