You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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