p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
