Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize