She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize