well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize