I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My vagina just clenched in fear
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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