I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
