i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
