What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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