That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
