Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
