I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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