Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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