i don't like sucking hair
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
