do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
