maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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