Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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