Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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