the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
