I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
