I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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