my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
