dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
