im drinking this country out of the recession.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
