She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
