I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
