ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
