you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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