Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
