im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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