i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
