I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
