i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it hurts more in the daytime
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
