I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
