Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
