Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
