May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
