i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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