My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
