my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
