mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
