my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
