i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
