I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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