Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize