Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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