It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
