I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
