Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
