For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
